Alone in a Relationship: Understanding and Coping with a One-Sided Relationship

What is a one-sided relationship?

One-sided relationships, also known as unrequited love, is love that’s not reciprocated as such by the uninterested or uninvested person. As a result, they may not be aware of the admirer’s deep and pure affection or may consciously reject it for various reasons.

How does being in a one-sided relationship affect a person?

Being in a one-sided relationship can be challenging when one person is investing more time, energy, effort, and emotions. The sad reality is that the invested person sacrifices their mental and emotional stability to be with them. They lower their standards and give up their goals to fit into their lifestyle.

This is because they love that person immensely and think that doing so can make them change. As a result, they keep their hopes up and cannot detach themselves. These types of relationships are unstable because they lack balance and equitable mutuality.

Signs that you are in a one-sided relationship.

1. They aren’t there for you when you need them the way you are there for them when they need you. You feel obligated to facilitate all their needs while yours are left on the back burner. If you are unsure, you can analyze how they react when they need something versus when you need something. You’ll know the relationship isn’t mutual if you are mostly met with excuses and negativity when you’re in need.
2. You do most of the work while the other does little or nothing. A healthy relationship requires commitment, honesty, and healthy connections to thrive. If only one person makes an effort to establish these things and the other doesn’t, it can cause a mental and emotional strain which is unhealthy for the person’s well-being and mental stability.

3. You feel insecure and like you’re not good enough. You think you must do more to be treated the way you deserve. Yet, despite how hard you try and how much you show them love and respect, you don’t see any changes in their behavior or the relationship. You put your needs aside and question your worth because they make you feel less of a person.
4. There is more negativity than positivity in the relationship. Your thoughts towards them are mostly negative, but you desperately try to overthrow the negative with a few positive thoughts, if any. You can’t be happy when you’re constantly hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
5. You try to change or control how they interact with you. But, unfortunately, you can’t alter or force someone to love you or treat you right. It’s up to them if they choose to change, whether for you or themselves. Trying to change someone requires manipulation, which may work, but it won’t be genuine feelings and may cause more harm than good.

How to fix one-sided relationships?

Fixing a one-sided relationship has many challenges, but it can become a lot easier when both parties are on the same page. It’ll take a lot of hard work, self-reflection on both sides, honest communication, and therapeutic help if needed. There isn’t a wrong or right way to fix these

problems. Therefore, they may differ depending on the individuals or the severity of the situation.

There must be conversations about boundaries and expectations because the views on the relationship may differ. Patience is necessary, as these relationship situations take time to heal and grow.

When should you end a one-sided relationship?

Experiencing excessive anxiety, guilt, shame, and resentment can lead to emotional burnout and oscillating feelings of numbness and uncontrollable anger. If you feel like you’ve reached your breaking point, you must do what’s best for your well-being and mental health.

If your partner is unwilling to hear your needs and concerns or adjust their behavior, that’s a sign that it’s time for you to move on.

If you have a conversation with them and they respond with defensiveness, play the blame game or gaslight you, then it’s a clear indication that they are unwilling to change or make things work.

Holding on to the thought of their potential to change when you know within yourself that it may never happen is an unhealthy place to be. It’s time to free yourself and your mind from constant hurt and rejection. You deserve better!

Conclusion

All relationships have challenges and personal issues; some are acceptable and tolerable, while others are unacceptable. However, you must remember that you don’t have to settle for anything less and know your worth.

If fixing the relationship is an option, then both parties must do what needs to be done. After all, it takes two people to encourage structural change, not just one person. No matter how much effort or love you put into it, it won’t work.

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